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Have you ever wondered why some people effortlessly stick to New Year's resolutions while others abandon them by mid-January? Gretchen Rubin, the author of "The Happiness Project," offers illuminating answers through her Four Tendencies framework—a personality system that reveals how we respond to expectations. Rubin identifies two types of expectations we all face: outer expectations (like work deadlines) and inner expectations (like personal goals). How we respond to these expectations determines which of four tendencies we fall into. The four tendencies are as follows: Upholders These self-starters readily meet both outer and inner expectations. They wake up thinking, "What's on the schedule today?" and keep commitments to themselves just as seriously as those made to others. While they excel at meeting goals, Upholders can sometimes struggle with flexibility when plans change unexpectedly. Questioners This group questions all expectations and will meet them only if they believe they make sense. They resist anything arbitrary and need to understand the "why" behind every request. Once convinced something is worthwhile, Questioners follow through beautifully—though their constant need for justification can exhaust those around them. Obligers Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle with inner ones. They'll meet a friend for a 6 a.m. workout, but can't seem to exercise alone. This is the largest tendency group, and Obligers often feel frustrated by their inability to meet self-imposed goals. The solution? Create external accountability—hire a trainer, join a class, or find a workout buddy—to transform those inner expectations into outer ones. Rebels Rebels resist all expectations, both outer and inner. They value freedom and self-determination above everything, wanting to act in alignment with their identity and choices. Tell a Rebel they must do something, and watch them dig in their heels. However, Rebels can accomplish remarkable things when they reframe goals as personal choices that express their authentic selves rather than obligations. Although it's good to understand your tendency, keep in mind that your natural tendencies may shift in different circumstances or with age and maturity. However, by working with our natural inclinations rather than fighting against them, we can design systems and strategies that actually work for our unique personality, making it far easier to achieve our goals. An Obliger can stop beating themselves up for needing external accountability, while a Questioner can honor their need for information before committing. You can read more about the Four Tendencies on Ruben's website. Stay tuned for my next blog post, where I reveal my tendency and share how I work with it to get stuff done. See you soon! If you liked this, you may like the article Run Towards the Fear. Do you feel like you’re running on empty? You’re not alone. That’s why I’m offering a 90-minute Resilience Recharge virtual workshop at no cost—to give you practical tools to quiet your inner saboteurs, boost calm and focus, and leave you feeling stronger, even in challenging times. In this Positive Intelligence session, you’ll learn to identify the mental saboteurs that drain your energy and replace them with strategies to build focus, clarity, and resilience. You’ll walk away with tools you can use immediately—and get a preview of the 8-week Rewire Your Mind program for deeper transformation. I hope to see you there! Upcoming Workshops Monday, October 6 — 2 PM PT / 5 PM ET Wednesday, October 8 — 10 AM PT / 1 PM ET Do you prefer silence, music, or a humming café while working on your computer? When making a big decision, do you listen to your gut, consult a friend, or research all options? Do you learn a new game by reading the instructions, watching a video, or asking someone to teach you? Each approach to working, decision-making, and learning represents a distinct processing modality. The concept that people process information differently is not new; many of us identify as visual or auditory learners. However, Denslow Brown’s book, The Processing Modalities Guide, takes this idea a step further. I first encountered this valuable concept in her Strengths-Based Coaching class, and it has helped me better understand my own and my clients' experiences. Brown's identifies nine ways to process information: Modality Strength Continuum Brown explains that in addition to our modality preferences, we also have varying strengths across different modalities, ranging from weak to gifted. For example, someone may have poor vision, an exceptional sense of smell, and arthritis in their joints affecting their movement. These physical differences can greatly influence their perception of the world and the extent to which they rely on each modality. Brown explains that in addition to our modality preferences, we have varying strengths with each modality, ranging from weak to competent to gifted. Modality Sensitivity Continuum Brown also identifies that individuals have varying sensitivities across the modalities, ranging from hyposensitive (oblivious) to hypersensitive (very aware). For example, someone may have a hard time concentrating when their partner is on the phone in the next room (hypersensitive auditory modality) or they may not notice a huge new painting in the living room (hyposensitive visual modality). These sensitivities affect what we notice and how we rely on the different modalities. We have varying sensitivities across different modalities, ranging from hyposensitive (unaware) to tolerant to hypersensitive (very aware).
It makes sense to pay attention to these strengths and sensitivities because our awareness of them helps us design environments and actions that draw on our strengths. This is an overview of the processing modalities, but you can read about all nine modalities on my other blog, Find Your Focus. Links are below! Learn about all nine Processing Modalities: VISUAL The Power of Sight: Engaging with Your Surroundings Using the Visual Modality AUDITORY The Art of Listening: How Sound and Silence Influence Our Productivity KINESTHETIC Build Focus with Movement: Understanding the Mind-Body Connection TACTILE Feeling the Difference: How Touch Affects Your Space and Mood TASTE & SMELL Elevate Your Workspace: Using Taste & Smell for a More Inspiring Environment VERBAL Verbal Processing Modalities: How Language Shapes Our Experience EMOTIONAL How Emotions Influence our Bodies and our Ability to Stay Focused COGNITIVE Knowing Your Mind: Navigating the Cognitive Modality INTUITIVE Cultivating Intuitive Knowing: Learning to Tap into Your Inner Wisdom Before I began coaching training, I saw life coaching as something meant for others—people with extra time or resources. It all seemed a bit self-indulgent. After years of training, experience, and witnessing my clients' transformations, I’ve come to see coaching as a vital tool for personal growth, self-awareness, and purposeful action. As a PQ Mental Fitness coach, I help you respond to life's challenges with a positive mindset and tangible tools. I'm passionate about helping you connect with the things that light you up, navigate the inevitable challenges, and offer support, new perspectives, and accountability. WITH THE SUPPORT OF A COACH YOU CAN:
Harness your focus Move past organizing hurdles Take charge of your time Uncover your unique strengths Address the challenges of ADHD Create accountability Increase your mental fitness If you're wondering if coaching is right for you, the Mindset Quiz is a great place to start. Image: Lex Melony Unsplash I have some exciting news to share! As many of you know, for the last 3 years, I have been working towards my coaching certification. I recently finished that process and am now a Certified ACC-level Coach through the International Coaching Federation! It's been a long and rewarding journey! With Pick It Up Coaching I am now working with people beyond the realm of organizing. I'm still offering on-site organizing services in a limited capacity to past clients, but the focus of my business has shifted to coaching. Read on for more information on this journey! The Journey from Organizing to Coaching
Since 2010, I have been helping people create spaces in their homes and businesses that are functional and beautiful — and it’s been a joy! My clients are amazing and I love supporting them in my role as a professional organizer. However, at some point, I realized that to truly help my clients, we needed to move beyond dealing with just the physical ‘stuff’ in their lives. I saw patterns of behavior that were working against them but I didn’t know how to help. Then came Covid, and for the first time in ages, I had time on my hands. On a whim in 2020, I took an eight-week coaching class designed for professional organizers. It was life-changing! By the end of that class, I knew coaching was in my future. It connected the dots between our mindset and the actions we take and gave me a new framework for working with clients. For the last three years, I have worked toward the goal of becoming a certified coach. This has involved 90+ training hours, 150+ coaching hours, assessments, recorded calls, mentoring, tests and more. In February of 2024, I became an Associate Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I now incorporate coaching into all the work I do with clients and am amazed at the profound impact it can have on people's lives. I currently split my time between on-site organizing work in San Francisco and coaching work with people all over the world. I genuinely love supporting people in these different ways! Becoming a coach put me on a path that has opened up my world and I’m excited to share some of what I have learned with you. I invite you to explore my upcoming blog posts on my new website Pick It Up Coaching, with the hope that they will open something up for you as well. Coaching is a word we hear a lot today, but what exactly does it mean? Coaching is a partnership between coach and client designed to bring about new awareness and perspective shifts for the client using an Awareness> Action> Learning process.
In addition to stand-alone coaching, I also integrate coaching into my organizing work. I find this approach helps clients to gain new awareness about their habits and mindset which may be contributing to their organizing overwhelm. A few ways I integrate coaching into organizing work:
If you're ready to take the next step, book a free assessment and figure out how to bring organizing and coaching into your life! Images from the Who Gives a Crap Instagram account. A client recently told me about Who Gives a Crap — a company that makes sustainable toilet paper and paper towels, delivered to your door, and does it (as you might suspect) with a large dose of humor. Like the company itself, its origin story is both purpose-driven and funny, involving a crowd-funding campaign and one of the founders on a toilet for 50 hours. You can read more here.
Who Gives a Crap was founded by three guys who wanted to help the 40% of the world's population that doesn’t have access to a toilet, and the many children who die from poor sanitation as a result. They donate an amazing 50% of their profits to making sure everyone has access to a clean toilet. What’s more, all of their paper products are made from either bamboo or 100% recycled paper, making them super-green! I started ordering toilet paper from Who Gives a Crap a few months ago and now get paper towels, too. Did I mention that there’s no plastic at all in their packaging, and that each roll is wrapped in cute paper? Their Instagram is full of people finding clever ways to reuse the wrappers. In December, the rolls are wrapped in adorable wrapping paper — quite excited for that! If you're ready to ditch traditional paper products (and their associated deforestation) and never have to lug TP back from the store again, give Who Gives a Crap a try and let me know how it goes! Do you have a goal that you’d like to make a reality in 2022? Maybe you’d like to start a new business, prioritize your health, or clear clutter? Coaching can help — it gets you in touch with your intentions and helps create positive change through awareness and accountability. If you’re new to coaching, learn more here.
This January, you could be one of three people to enjoy the benefits of coaching for free! Enter for your chance to receive two 60-minute coaching sessions — just fill out this entry form by Monday, January 17. I’ll contact the finalists to set up a time to begin coaching. This coaching offer is open to everyone — current clients, past clients, and those who are new to Pick It Up! Please note that these aren’t organizing sessions. I am still offering in-person organizing for San Francisco residents and virtual organizing for clients near and far. Wishing you a wonderful New Year! Erin Photo by Tim Arterbury on Unsplash. The Four Stages of CompetenceHave you ever developed mastery in a skill or subject and thought “Wow, I can't believe I can do this now”? Whether it’s learning French, martial arts, how to make pots or a new job skill, expertise is an amazing feeling. But how did you get there? In a recent coaching class, I found out. The Four Stages of Competence is a concept developed by Noel Burch at Gordon Training International that’s been around since the ’70s and still rings true — we go through four stages to achieve mastery of a new skill. You may recognize them in your own experience, like I did. Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence (Ignorance) With any new skill, we usually start in a place of unconscious incompetence. We have little to no knowledge about the skill and are also unconscious of our ignorance. Motto for this stage: You don't know what you don't know. Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence (Awareness) We now have some knowledge about our lack of skill. We are also conscious that there is much we need to learn before mastery is achieved. Stage 3: Conscious Competence (Learning) Through active learning, we now know how to do the desired skill but it requires practice and effort. Stage 4: Unconscious Competence (Mastery) In this stage, the skill is now easy for us to perform and can be done unconsciously and without much effort. How does it work? Think about learning to drive. We start with having no idea of what’s involved. Then, we take driver's ed and see how much there is to learn. As student drivers, we can drive, but with great effort and attention. As adults, driving becomes second nature. I relate to these four stages of learning in many areas of my life. I love to paint with watercolors, for example, but even after many years, I feel that I am solidly in Stage 2, Conscious Incompetence. I marvel at others’ ability to paint with beauty and ease. How does this concept relate to organizing and the home? Suppose you want to organize your closet, where disorder is a long-standing challenge. The four stages could look like this: Stage 1: You’re aware of the challenge, but not aware that new knowledge and skills may help to address it. Stage 2: You start to understand that there's a knowledge gap and some learning could be helpful. This may come as an aha! moment where you think "No one ever taught me how to do that.” Stage 3: You begin to use your new skills, perhaps letting go of clothing you no longer need, hanging items up, or realizing you need a new plan for your space. Stage 4: Your new skill of keeping your closet organized has now become second nature. When things start to fall apart, you know what to do to get the space back in order. Learning new skills and changing habits is a lifelong journey that may seem daunting at first, but even small changes can yield big results. The first step: Developing awareness of the knowledge gap. That’s where I can help. Coaching and organizing can get you through all four stages, from creating awareness to creating habits that stick. If you’re looking to get started, I hope you’ll reach out! Looking to spruce up your home with some new furniture? Take a look at The Local Flea. This local company helps people buy and sell easily. You can pick up a pair of accent chairs, a washing machine, or an exercise bike. You can also sell items in good condition that you no longer need. By the way, use the coupon code WELCOME25 at checkout and enjoy a 25% discount on everything in the store!
I used The Local Flea several months ago and found the selling process to be very simple and streamlined. The whole process was conducted via text! They have partnered with Remoov (a local donation and disposal service) so if you are looking to let go of something that they can't sell, Remoov can donate it. I feel that The Local Flea is best for larger objects and items in good condition. Stick to Goodwill for smaller stuff and Nextdoor for items that just need to be given away. |
AuthorErin Becker is a Swimming in paper?
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